Where I'm At

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day." - Proverbs 4:18

This is one of my favorite verses. I love the imagery that our walk with God is like the morning sun. It starts off very dim with just a faint bit of light, like when we first understand what Jesus did on the cross and accept Him as our Savior. Then it grows brighter as the sun rises in the sky, just like our faith grows deeper and stronger as we continually pursue Jesus. Finally, the sun reaches its full brightness in the middle of the sky, just as our faith becomes full and complete when we go to heaven and are made perfect.

I can't help but think, though, of those days when there are some clouds. The sun can be shining as bright as ever, and then for just a few moments (sometimes even longer) a cloud or two passes in front of it and makes everything seem a little less bright. Sometimes it's hard to remember that the sun is still shining behind those clouds.

At first, with the ups and downs of my husbands job and a short time of unemployment, it was pretty easy to remember the sun behind the clouds. We just kept reminding each other that God had always been faithful to provide for us in the past and He would do so again in His timing and His ways for His glory. Just recently my husband was blessed with a great job that was even more than we had expected or prayed for, all to God's glory. It was (and still is) amazing to see how God provided for us yet again - just like seeing the sun come out from behind the clouds and shine brightly again.

But now I find myself in yet another trial, and the clouds seem a little thicker this time. After experiencing a few complications with my pregnancy, I was put on strict bed rest and am now confined to my couch 24/7. As fun as that might seem to some, I am finding it extremely difficult. I love my job as a wife and homemaker and it's so disappointing not being able to do anything for my husband or to take care of my house. Having to give up every responsibility from cooking meals to doing laundry to cleaning house is upsetting, as is not being able to go to church or Bible studies or be involved in a ministry. It's been easy to be discouraged and upset and wonder why I'm in this situation. Just the other night when I broke down and was completely discouraged about the situation, my husband reminded me that God always has a reason for the trials He allows in our lives. If I'm going through this trial it's because there's something to learn from it, and I can choose to spend this time being upset about my inability to do the things I want or I can spend it pursuing God more deeply and seek to grow through it.

Although it's easier for me to focus more on the clouds right now, I need to constantly be reminding myself that the sun is still shining behind the clouds. Times may be difficult and upsetting, but I need to hold fast to the truth that God is good and is allowing this trial in my life so that I will grow to become more like Jesus and it's all for God's glory and His purpose. My desire is that I would not allow myself to be consumed by discouragement during this trial, but that I would use this great amount of free time wisely to pursue Jesus Christ and grow in my walk with Him.